you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
