your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
