the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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