let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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