You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize