And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
