I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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