Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
