I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
