My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you never un-have a 4some
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
