I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
