If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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