How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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