I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
