Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
