dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
sex in a hospital.. check
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
