; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
