I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
