As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
