Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
