whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
