Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize