they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
