Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
