i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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