i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
No subtext here. People are naked.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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