oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Duck Duck Cougar?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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