HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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