Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
