This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
her vagine was all disorganized.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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