If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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