tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
