He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
