R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
