Don't you send me to vm
I didn't shave. On purpose
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
