Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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