You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize