So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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