She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
