Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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