omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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