went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize