Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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