everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
