We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
