whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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