Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
