At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
