were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
