it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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