the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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