Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
