these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
