idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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