what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
