we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
