see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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